Saturday, February 8, 2014

Rin's Tale, Chapter 1 Recap

Rin is up to Chapter 2!  I have read and reread what I have written so far, and for the most part I am happy with what I wrote.  There are a few changes that I want to make.

  • I am changing the hair color of Rin to white and Itami to red.  White is a rare hair color and I think it will signify her own specialty that will come.
  • I want to extend her nightmare more as evident in Part 1.  Make it more visceral.
  • In Part 2 I want to explain her magical prosthetic hand in better detail.
  • Part 3 I want to detail the airship in greater detail.  I want to do the same thing for the Maarke Aerodrome, the tarn aviaries and Maarke itself Part 4.  In Part 5 the details need to be increased in the home of Kemmon.  Beef up the details.
  • In Part 6, I need to redo the confrontation between Rin the Rikkard.  Originally Rikkard was to be an anarchist, but I was thinking and talking to +Rynyn and I made him a pro-democracy demonstrator.  Now in order to do it, I am going to have to make pro-democracy movements more prevalent and central to the story.  There is the side that says that the people will rise to position of prominence.  That is why North Realm has all manner of knighthoods and awards that people gain gain.  Thinking of it, I am thinking the people of the Barony of the Maarke are pro-democracy because they are having the students there.  The Barony of Holdingford because they have a large discrepancy between the rich and poor.  I would say the only places that are staunchly opposed to it would be the Baronies of Stormtonne and Leavestonne and of course the capital of Danaan Tir.
  • The bath scene.  Hmm.  In Parts 7 and 8, I am thinking that I will have to redo it a bit to make it more clear of both the women's intentions.  Rin is fascinated by Sofia but she still does her duty by preparing to take or kill her.  The fact that Sofia went ahead and kissed her at the time was that she needed to think.  Rin almost had her when she mention Oleg Veklos, something that wasn't North Realm but came from the Empire.  Sofia knew that there was something up with Rin and that just confirmed it for her.  She doesn't know what yet, but she does have her suspicions.  
  • I was speaking with +Rynyn and we came to conclusion that she is still a virgin.  Women haven't really interested her until Sofia and men, well her infatuation her older (step) brother has dampened her mood to having a relationship.  That is really screwed in the head, isn't it?
Well, that is Chapter 1.  In Chapter 2 it deals with the pro-democracy movement.  She is going to meet the thieves Dade and Katella.

If you have any questions, comments or thoughts, do let me know.  I enjoy hearing from people!